Quotes About Women
Funny Quotes About Women
by Women Quotes on Nov.07, 2008, under Funny Quotes About Women
Funny Quotes About Women
“When women kiss it always reminds me of prize fighters shaking hands.”
A Funny Quote About women by HL Mencken.
“Wild horses couldn’t drag a secret out of most women. However, women seldom have lunch with wild horses.”
A Funny Quote About women by Ivern Boyett
“Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing:
‘This looks much better on.’ On what? On fire?”
A Funny Quote About women by Rita Rudner
“When a woman says, ‘I don’t wish to mention any names’, it means it ain’t necessary to mention any names.”
A Funny Quote About women by Kin Hubbard
“Most women are not as young as they are painted.”
A Funny Quote About women by Max Beerbohm
“As Miss America, my goal is to bring peace to the entire world and then get my own appartment.”
A Funny Quote About women by Jay Leno
“Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?”
A Funny Quote About women by Sigmund Freud
“Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”
A Funny Quote About women by Charlotte Whitton.
“She looked as if she’d been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say when.”
A Funny Quote About women by PG Wodehouse.
“Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilt and I’ll show you a man.”
A Funny Quote About women by Erica Jong.
“One of the reasons I don’t see eye to eye with Women’s Lib is that women have it all on a plate if only they knew it. They don’t have to be pretty either.”
A Funny Quote About women by Charlotte Rampling.
“Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.”
A Funny Quote About women by HL Mencken
“The people I’m getting furious with are the women’s liberationists. They keep getting on their soapboxes proclaiming that women are brighter than men. That’s true, but it should be kept quiet or it ruins the whole racket.”
A Funny Quote About women by Anita Loos
“My wife is the sort of woman who gives necrophillia a bad name.”
A Funny Quote About women by Patrick Murray
“An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”
A Funny Quote About women by Agatha Christie.
“Nature intended women to be our slaves. They are our property.”
A Funny Quote About women by Napolean Bonaparte
“Women: Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing.”
A Funny Quote About women by Sean Williamson.
“When women go wrong, men go right after them.”
A Funny Quote About women by Mae West.
“Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.”
A Funny Quote About women by Roseanne Barr.
“As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.”
A Funny Quote About women by Oscar Wilde.
“I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde.”
A Funny Quote About women by Dolly Parton.
“Direct thought is not an attribute of feminity. In this, women are now centuries behind man.”
A Funny Quote About women by Thomas Edison
“When a woman becomes a scholar there is usually something wrong with her sexual organs.”
A Funny Quote About women by Friedrich Nietzsche
“Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.”
A Funny Quote About women by Grover Cleveland, Former US President (1905)
“I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.”
A Funny Quote About women by Rebecca West
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.”
A Funny Quote About women by Aristotle Onassis
“Women add zest to the unlicenced hours.”
A Funny Quote About women by Allen Thomas
“Women are nothing but machines for producing children.”
A Funny Quote About women by Napolean Bonaparte.
“Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no-one likes to have to keep one.”
A Funny Quote About women by WC Fields
“A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s - That’s because she changes it more often.”
A Funny Quote About women by Oliver Hereford
“Women should be obscene and not heard.”
A Funny Quote About women by Groucho Marx.
“Men are superior to women. For one thing, men can urinate from a speeding car.”
A Funny Quote About women by Will Durst
“Women’s intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking.”
A Funny Quote About women by Rupert Hughes
“Here’s to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands.”
A Funny Quote About women by Ambrose Bierce
“Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement.”
A Funny Quote About women by Mark Twain.
“The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots.”
A Funny Quote About women by Rebecca West
“When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn’t she behave like a nice man?”
A Funny Quote About women by Edith Evans
“Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, ‘Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades, and good standing among your friends’.”
A Funny Quote About women by Jeffrey Bernard
“A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.”
A Funny Quote About women by Groucho Marx.
“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.”
A Funny Quote About women by Mark Twain.
